Me, Jesus and Adam Ant Read online

be obnoxious and just think they are disliked because they say what they think." I said in one breath.

  "Ohhh ... I think I understand. Because you're obnoxious and you just do it?"

  "Because I'm the son of God"

  "Ah, but I have Napoleon."

  "There, you see?'ll Make fun of me because I'm obnoxious."

  "No you're not obnoxious, maybe a little 'crazy, that yes. Indeed, to prove to you that you're not obnoxious I would like to invite you to the concert tonight, a friend of mine, Adam Ant, plays right here at Biddulph."

  "No, thank you, tonight I pray."

  "There, now you're obnoxious."

  "Okay, I'm coming."

  "Perfect. Way my name is Julio Roberts, do you?"

  "Jesus, so much pleasure."

  So it was that I met him. The same evening we went to the concert, after I introduced Adam Ant.

  We became an inseparable trio and still are.

   

   

  A bit 'of Japan in South Petherton

  If I were the protagonist of a novel contemporary Japanese, I would be a student, I would have the afternoon on a warm spring day completely free and therefore, I would read a book while drinking sake at a table in a bar.

  I do not happen nothing short, but readers would draw a total sense of peace from all this nullaccadenza.

  Of course, on page 50, would arrive a lovely unknown girl who, for reasons of his own personal, would sit at my table, I would ask what I read, if I ever tasted julep and what I know of fluff cord, just to get to page 100 where we would the love, where would we-love.

  On page 150 we would say goodbye because, again for reasons of his own personal about her, reasons that make it a little 'cry, we could not see each other again.

  All this if I were the protagonist of a novel contemporary Japanese.

  But I'm not so I'm here in South Petherton, Somerset, sitting at dell'idromeleria Etta Hobbs of spouses and Basil, which I find a little 'aged. To my right, Adam Ant polished the buttons on his jacket pirate dandy, Jesus is left dangling his legs off the stool and ciabatta with sandals untied the feet, feet that smell a bit 'but I have not the courage to tell him.

  It's raining outside and I see from the window switch Connie Cuadretti, Cuadretti with C, holding an umbrella magenta, and I think it became a beautiful woman, despite his temper and that attitude of eternal girl of 85 years.

  Perhaps today, in South Petherton, Somerset, there is a bit 'of Japan, a bit' of Japan.

   

  Bologna

  I am on the regional train fast connections Modena, Emilia-Romagna, Thornaby-on-Tees, in the county of North Yorkshire, to stop the conduct Bologna rise clusters of university students. Immediately my mind goes back to the first half of 600, when, together with Jesus and Adam Ant, in Bologna attended the faculty of Geometry Isosceles. How many memories. How many do we have combined in that city.

  For example, the times that Jesus, from the wall of Via dei Malcontenti, threw one of his sandals in the channel of Moline and me and Adam Ant, which are carried to the famous Via Piella window overlooking the canal, waiting for the current to bring the sandal of and we tried to catch them with a bamboo cane, with waxed dental floss and a line of jewelry for earring hook. We never succeeded, and every time Jesus, along Via Augusto Righi sandal with a yes and a no, reached us and asked:

  "So, You've caught?"

  "Nah, nothing!" Adam Ant replied laughing under his mustache at that time still was not wearing.

  "Here I am again with only one sandal. But why do not we try once with one of your boots Adam? O with one of your gym Julio?" Jesus is vented

  "Yeah well with your sandals, which are all a band and a strap and offer more grip, is a very, very difficult, if we tried with my Pirate Boots by Vivienne Westwood, or the sneakers of Ishikawa by Itchy Julio, a company would be very very very difficult, if not impossible. Do you understand it? " Adam was exaggerating.

  The crazy laughter.

  Or for example when late at night and the streets ran only a few drunk, we had fun making the number of hangman. Practically legavamo Jesus, so that if something went wrong at Easter would be resurrected, as a kind of hanging wooden porch of the old Via Santo Stefano, with the sailor's knot that seems hung by the neck, but in reality you're like harnessed and you look great Then Adam and I we hid behind the wall of the former palace of Merchandise, in its place, and waited for the first victim. They saw Jesus hung and ran to call for help. When she returned with the police, of course, Jesus had already lowered and hidden with me and Adam, was enjoying the scene of the poor fellow who was escorted to a night in jail to sober up.

  The matte matte laughter.

  Or for example again when we drove Via Old Fishmongers, that so narrow and crowded with merchants seemed to be in a souk, Adam and I We stole some sardines and infilavamo pockets, being careful that the fishmonger to see us, so we chased shouting "scoundrels ! Put the stolen goods! " and meanwhile Jesus, behind him, was the number of the multiplication of the fishes.

  "But who says Mr. fishmonger? See for yourself, maybe you think that something is missing from his box of sardines?" We said in unison and with the innocent face me and Adam.

  They turned and saw the box with ten times as many sardines compared to how many there were before, opened his eyes stunned, then called his wife, who bring a chair and something cool to drink.

  The matte matte mattissime laughter.

  With all these memories of my time traveling by train has passed by so quickly, have already arrived in Thornaby-on-Tees, in the county of North Yorkshire.

  I go down, it rains.

  And I miss Bologna, Bologna I miss.

   

  The time that Jesus wanted to wash my feet and Adam Ant

  Every year, when approaching Easter, I am reminded of a strange episode in my life, besides me, has as its protagonists Adam Ant and Jesus, especially Jesus

  One evening so many years ago do not even remember the number, after finishing dinner at point Macrobiotic Henley-on-Thames in Oxfordshire, we decided to go to enjoy the warm evening lounging in the river.

  We were just there beautiful quiet when suddenly an idea came to Jesus that define bizarre is an understatement:

  "We play to wash each other's feet!" He said with enthusiasm.

  Adam before he looked at me incredulously, then whispered in my ear:

  "Will not it be a foot fetishist?"

  "Mboh, and what I know, it does not seem the type." I told him whispering to myself.

  "Oh well see what happens, but if you want even after pittarmi nails it ends immediately."

  "Yes, yes, me too, always the same ... that does not have the rouge-noir of Chanel, then yes."

  "Yes, yes, yes then too, but only in that case."

  We agreed and set out to Jesus to be the first to wash our feet.

  We took off our shoes and Adam noticed that I had socks with holes in several places, and I noticed that Adam had the left big toe at least 10 cm long!

  We rolled up his pants to his knees and sat by the river we left their feet washed by Jesus He did it with great care and delicacy, was pleasant in fact.

  When it was our turn to wash the feet of Jesus, Adam was the doubt that he had left the gas on and ran home to make sure.

  To me it was the doubt that he had left the gas on and ran home to make sure.

  In fact, we were a bit 'rogues, because I was sure I closed the gas and I'm sure even Adam.

  I believe that Jesus was pretty bad because it offered us more strange game, not me and Adam at least, and I know that it proposed to Richard Ginori that, unlike ours, was enthusiastic, and even today, all 'approach of Easter, invites Jesus in his bath by megalomaniac and two-seat bidet wash their feet each other.

  Finally add that I do not envy anyone, but the bidet tandem of Richard Ginori, well, that's ... that yes.

   

  The parable of parables already told

  Every year, when i
t arrives on April 16, I think back to what happened exactly on that date in 1683.

  I, Jesus and Adam Ant, we spent the afternoon among the stalls of the largest market in the porcelain of Kingston upon Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire in the county and in the evening, tired tired tired, we went as usual to rest a bit ' in the river.

  We sat in silence for about ten minutes, then Jesus broke the stillness by asking:

  "Friends, I have never told the parable of the lost son and found?"

  "Uhhh, I do not know how many times." Adam said.

  "Really? And that of the murderous tenants?"

  "Pure." Adam replied yet.

  "Ummm ... and that of the good Samaritan?"

  "For heaven's sake!" More and more annoyed Adam.

  "That the sheep and the goats?"

  "Yes!"

  "That the ten virgins?"

  "Yes!"

  "That the house based on ..."

  "Yes!"

  "That ..."

  "Yes, yes Yes, yes yes!"

  "But .."

  "All we have to tell, at least a million times! Arghhhh!" Mad Adam stood up and went to sit further away where, to try to calm down, he began to throw stones into the river.

  Calo silence again then Jesus looked obviously embarrassed asked

  "Really tell the same things?'m Getting so boring?"

  "No, my friend, you're just getting older, like all of us."

  "But I'm only 33 years old!"

  "For centuries, say you have 33 years, credivi that there had never noticed?"

  It is sad in the face, gave him two patting on the left shoulder and no one spoke for the rest of the evening.

  For the rest of the evening.

   

  Roman Empire's got talent

  Every July 17 I recall July 17 of the year 24.

  That day I, Jesus and Adam Ant, early in the morning, we queued up in front of the coliseum for the casting of the first talent show