Me, Jesus and Adam Ant Read online

little 'to reassure customers, but also for genuine concern, Rudolph Quadretti, the only son of the family and kind keto Cuadretti came to help me, but Connie motioned for him to stay away and addressing all present said: "And 'all right, me and my fiance had a run. "

  With one hand behind his head put me down, then he kissed me. He knew of chervil, I of blood.

  I made late and the kitchen boss Basil Hobbs was very angry. The Duke was very angry because of the Porsche, the fact is that the next day I was fired.

  Connie Cuadretti however, for a while 'time he went around saying that we were engaged, although after that brief moment, I had taken to hate her as more than before.

   

  The time I camuffai by Jesus

  Every January 9th I am reminded of the time I camuffai by Jesus

  At that time I was 86, I was young and foolish, I was a roadie and followed Jesus in his European tour of seminars on goodness.

  One evening in the theater of Widecombe-in-the-Moor in the county of Devon, Jesus was talking about and, as always, the fans threw on stage at all, dolls, underwear, crumpled notes. It was a crumpled note to reach the fifth and fall at my feet.

  I could not resist the temptation, I opened the note and read it: I'll be waiting at the entrance artists during the interval ... The message was signed with a heart.

  Without thinking too much, and knowing that he was so very very wrong, I went into the dressing room of Jesus, took a robe, put on the cap, being careful to keep me in the shade the face and went to the appointment.

  In place of the meeting, I found the only person in the world that I never wanted to find the hated Connie Cuadretti, Cuadretti with the C. I would run away, but now I had seen, I had to do?

  "I'll follow you anywhere, I downloaded from iTunes all the recordings of your speeches ... I ... I ... I love you!" he said.

  Imitate the calm voice deep and pure of Jesus was of course impossible, so I answered with a nod.

  "Take me away with you," replied "I swear ..." and stopped.

  Squadrarmi began rubbing his chin with his index finger and thumb of the right hand.

  "Why wear shoes anti-injury? Thought you were wearing only sandals ... And I do not see why check your beard from under the hood?"

  Yeah, sandals and a beard, I had not thought, as I had no time to think of a trick. With a swift move she took off my cap, saw that Jesus was not and I printed a pine cone in his mouth.

  "If you say about what happened you're dead!" growled holding on with both hands to coat, then kissed me. He knew vanilla planifolia, I of blood. I do not remember anything else.

  The next day, because of a tip, I was fired for theft of the tunic. Connie Cuadretti instead was extracted as the only winner of PASS A DAY WITH JESUS ​​'and spent a whole day with Jesus

   

  The battle of snowballs in Chapel-en-le-Frith in 1691

  Also this year in Chapel-en-le-Frith, in the county of Derbyshire, will be the traditional battle of snowballs. Of all the issues that I have attended I remember in particular that of 1691. Already, the 1691, what did not happen in the edition of 1691 ...

  Like all the other participants, I, Jesus and Adam Ant, we gathered the public gardens under the big locust, and here we were divided into two teams, the spiritual and the carnal.

  After a while 'to hustle early due to some carnal who wanted to pretend to be spiritual sides were ready and godmother, who rite off the battle, he settled in the center. That year the godmother was the hateful Connie Cuadretti, Cuadretti with C. Dressed in a pompous ice queen dress up the scepter and ... nothing, not a snowball down because the centered it in the face making them fly off the crown of his head.

  In the battle of snowballs in Chapel-en-le-Frith the role of godmother is almost sacred and such a thing had not happened ever, a disgrace among the participants dropped frost.

  The eerie silence was interrupted by a carnal yelled pointing to the first three spiritual saw, "They were the ones, the spiritual, I saw them with my own eyes bleary." Needless to say those three spiritual was me, Jesus and Adam Ant. Let me be clear, we were not but we panicked, we began to run. It was like being in the movie, The Warriors, where all bands chase the warriors, the only difference was that the three of us chasing only the godmother, Connie Cuadretti, wow what had angrily.

  Adam Ant, who has never had breath for the race, at one point plunged to fish in a bush and there it remained hidden until spring, Jesus, however, disappeared with one of his miracles.

  I was left alone, Connie Cuadretti I had the ribs and, as always happens in the scenes in which one flees through the vegetation, I tripped over a root protruding.

  The snow, which cushioned the fall, I covered up over the hair. I lifted the back ground, Connie Cuadretti was there, arms crossed, he looked down with a smile that did not do anything funny, I was a goner.

  "It was not me!" I specified immediately rimettendomi standing.

  "What a disappointment, it would be nice if for once you had the courage to challenge me." Connie said Cuadretti and as he said his anger subsided and was transformed into a tear, then turned and took the road to return to the battlefield.

  This unusual reaction left me stunned, Connie Cuadretti had given occasion to stamparmi a pine cone in his mouth and, even more incredible, he wept. I felt tenderness for the girl smargiassa I had always considered devoid of feelings. Okay manesca was, but let's not forget that she was the first to introduce me to the pleasures of love.

  I joined her. "Connie ..." I said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

  He turned and kissed her. He knew pine and that kiss was beautiful.

  Then our lips parted, I looked at him with languid eyes, eyes that I had never seen before and ... I dropped a punch on the nose with all the strength he found.

  I fell back into the white snow, stained here and there with red of my blood.

  "Hello girl, the next." I said walking away.

  The next day the news of the battle of snowballs recorded the disqualification of sprirituali for contempt godmother resulting in a walkover of the flesh.

   

  On June 28, 1709 in bread crust

  Every June 28 I am reminded of June 28 in a crust of bread in 1709.

  At that time I was 83 years old and as always, after school, I started looking for a summer job in order to earn some money for cingomme and seeds of watermelon to shoot with the blowgun.

  That year found employment as an apprentice baker at the bakery Cuadretti, Cuadretti with C, in the near Congleton, in the county of Cheshire.

  The bakery was run by the family Cuadretti Cuadretti, a family particularly odious, and just the most hateful hateful family member Cuadretti, the eldest daughter Connie Cuadretti, I placed side by side to learn the trade.

  I had to learn just by looking at why the hateful Connie Cuadretti was cold and distant and I addressed word.

  After a week, however, in the middle of the night, while we were mixing, all of a sudden he turned to me furious face and yelled:

  "Will you stop copying my loaves of bread? Do not you have a little 'imagination to create your own, huh?"

  It must be said that Connie Cuadretti gave her bread always and only in the form of a car battery and I did just because I thought it would be.

  "Sure, I fancy to sell me." I said.

  Spurred by such antipathy immediately began to shape my dough up to him in a short time the perfect form of a rhea.

  "And what's that?" He asked me disgusted.

  "A rhea, rhea a beautiful bread." I said.

  "A rhea? Tze, only a girl like you can give the bread in the shape of a rhea!" Replied.

  Infornai my rheas trying to ignore the witch behind me chanting:

  "Female-nu-nu-CCIA CCIA female-female-nu-nu-CCIA CCIA females ..."

  I worked with a shovel and began to seethe inside the oven when suddenly I saw appear the Devil of Grain, his voice crackling fire, he asked me:

  "You hate it? Will not you give he
r a lesson?"

  "Oh all right if I would like Mr. Demon of Wheat, but I can not lose my job." I answered.

  At that point the Demon Wheat had a big laugh as if it was dark inside an oven, of course, and said:

  "Too late, too late .." And he disappeared.

  Meanwhile Connie Cuadretti had stopped chanting and when I turned around I realized why, she became a pillar of bread.

  Oh God, what had I done!

  I took deep breaths and tried to think what to do.

  The best idea that came to me was to see if beneath the surface there was a fragrant Connie Cuadretti of flesh and blood, so the navel pulled away and looked inside, it was full of crumbs.

  I curled up in a corner to cry in despair.

  And I whined, whined, whined ...

  "Hey, girl, give me the navel or see what's wrong!"

  I looked up, it was back to normal, the usual hateful Connie Cuadretti ever.

  Incredulous I went and hung the navel which was, however, of bread.

  This thing made her go on a rampage so I centered it on the nose with a punch.

  I did not have time to recover, he grabbed me by the shirt, pulled me at your lips and kissed me.

  It was beautiful. She knew of five grains, I double zero flour and blood.

  The next day Mr. Cuadretti fired me, while Connie Cuadretti navel of bread, began to churn out only bread shaped navel, but as the sign "HERE navels BREAD" troubled customers, Cuadretti Rudolph, brother of Connie as well as unique member of the family not hateful because Cuadretti keto and kind, he changed the name navels with rosettes.

  Was a success.

   

   

   

  The Diary of Etta Hobbs and her husband Basil

   

  Changes in the attic

  On 11