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  20 April 2012 Francis

  From some time it felt him strange: you/he/she was continually pervaded by feelings and conflicting and sudden thoughts. That that more it gave him boredom it was the feeling not to be able to have self-control himself/herself/themselves.

  While in bath was found for the daily trimming of the beard it stopped him an instant to look at himself/herself/themselves to the mirror: it didn't have a beautiful wax, some occhiaies did him/it resemble to a panda. Luckily the rest of its body was not to throw: well dense dark hair still that the green eyes jumped; its height of a meter and ninety were not enough to make to disappear a beautiful bacon, but to its 55 year-old age it didn't result exaggerated.

  That would have been an enough calm forenoon, it had only a pair of appointments with some clients, normal administration. He/she wore his/her dark suit and white shirt under, rigorously finished up with tie. After breakfast he/she greeted Marta and descents in the garage to climb on his/her Audi Z4 to which was very affectionate. The sky was clear and the elevated temperature above the norm for the period and for the schedule shortly after the 9:00. The power in the spring was exploded in the garden and you/he/she had made to almost all bloom the fruit plants; blackbirds and passerotti were contended the best positions and they filled the air with their verses. The bank where he/she worked a distance it was distant only a two weeks of kilometers that succeeded to cover in few minutes when it didn't find traffic. It hated the tails and at times he/she preferred to cross a longer, but secondary road.

  That morning, being late slightly had preferred to choose the road briefest and, just taken the principal road, a guy with a Multiple Fiat was placed in front of him going an hour to 30km. In the other passage the traffic was sustained and it didn't allow Francis to surpass the auto that had before and that it didn't have any intention to accelerate. A pair of hits of horn from the pursuer didn't make to change the walk, rather for all answer the guy before it lifted the middle finger and it subsequently. To that point Francis with a very hazardous manoeuvre placed side by side him/it and from the car window to his/her right you/he/she howled: «But what cazzo you do!!!!»

  In turn the other responded: «But thing want! If you want to race with that stain you go to footstep of it, idiot!»

  Francis felt the blood to reboil, you/he/she almost surpassed him/it cutting him the road and he forced him/it to approach on the right. The father of Noemi went down of run with the speed and the power of a river in flood in direction of the Multiple Fiat and you/he/she arrived while the other one was going down; through the open car window you/he/she stopped the arm of the slow driver and dams the door making her/it impattare violently against the shoulder.

  Then he/she left the arm, it reopened the door and the sferròs a cazzotto in full face. The other one sent forth two almost simultaneous cries and then it fell to the ground. Then Francis the sferròs a kick to the height of the thigh and it was about to give him of it another when it was taut back from someone; it tried to free himself/herself/themselves, but another strength prevented him from it. Impotent in front of the firm estate of two passer-bys that you/they had followed the scene it calmed down an instant and it realized to decidedly have exaggerated.

  After few minutes it started to tell what happened twos agents of the policemen quickly hastened on the place: the scene was some surreal, him, dressed in jacket and tie, esteemed by everybody, you/he/she had beaten violently another person for a futile motive. Yet had happened, the physician of the ambulance that was taking care of the other was a more evident test of it. He/she didn't succeed in understanding, an uncontrollable instinct and an unheard of violence had suddenly invaded him and he had lost the light of the reason.

  Luckily the legal ones of Francis, behind lavish reward, they convinced the wounded, that had not brought serious wounds, not to stick out report; nevertheless the news quickly scattered him and well soon its image suffered an ugly hit. This was the thing that mostly worried the manager of bank and he/she talked the evening of it to his/her/their wife:

  «Marta, doesn't know what has happened me, according to you I am going crazy?»

  «No dear; it is true you have been some impulsive even if that idiot partly if you/he/she is looked for him, the big heat has perhaps played you an ugly joke. The main point is that has not brought serious wounds and has not reported you.»

  «According to you it would be well that went from the doctor?»

  «If for your calm you want to go, do you also do, but don't I think can help you big that, thing you want that I/you/he/she tell yourself? To go to the psychologist?»

  «You, is perhaps right, I will try to check me and to keep the calm for another time.»

  May 23 rd 2012

  Just reached the playpen auto of the villa, Marta it realized that his/her husband had already reentered.

  «Strange», he/she thought, «it never returns to this time.»

  Then it came her to mind that as the other time there could be a female presence, there was not another auto, but this didn't mean nothing, you/they could have come together.

  Did it draw near to the residence slowly and, after being stopped him an instant to perceive possible sounds, definite to enter: «Francis, is in the house?»

  It didn't feel any answer and while it was supporting the purse to the clothes-stand and the jacket removed from him, the bell of the inside intercom that was present in every plain rang.

  This time the answer arrived suffered by the intercom next to the entry: «they are to the third floor, you come on».

  Took Marta the elevator and it brought him in the great room connected to the kitchen, it was almost entirely wound in the dark, he/she succeeded in distinguishing only the objects partially illuminated by the few beams of light that succeeded in climbing over the shutters. It her husband's outline sat on the couch with the braccias supported on the knees.

  Marta he directed toward the great finestrone and it opened wide him/it making to enter a light breeze that lifted her hair above the forehead, did it turn him toward Francis and churches then: «Because you are to the dark, you don't feel well yourself?»

  «No, I don't feel well me!» did it sentence him, «it is not what you wanted?»

  Did Marta have an instant of dismay that tried to disguise, did it reply looking for of then it engraves to the voice a tone of amazement: «But thing you say, because I should like this?»

  «Not to take around me, accursed, I have read your diary, I know what you have done me!!!»; the words went out him in a crescendo of intensity until to reach the cry. Then taking advantage of the painted surprise on the face of Marta got up standing and the sferròs a slap by hand open that did her/it strongly tilt on the opposite side and a second hit to the same height it dragged her/it to earth.

  «You thought indeed that I/you had never seen yourself take the key? I am not a fool know!! But what I want to know is because you have done him. Tell me him before!!»

  Marta had the left cheek in flames, but remaining to earth him was dragging toward the kitchen.

  His/her husband was out of control and if indeed he knew everything you/he/she would have been dangerous to answer to tone to his/her provocation. When it was by now near to the door of the kitchen it got up standing and it directed him toward the log portacoltelli and it grabbed the greatest.

  Francis kept on howling: «Tell me him! Tell me him!» and he was approaching, destroying and throwing on the ground what he/she met along the run.

  Did Marta in a first moment remain in silence, then, behind the insistence and does it shout her some husband he/she didn't succeed in containing the repressed anger that he/she brooded for a long time inside of her and, turned knife in before, done explode as a volcano: «Ah you don't know him/it? And of that puttanella with which you were the day of our anniversary in this house you don't tell me nothing?»

  Did Francis start reflecting on as you/he/she had done to discover him/it and on some part
icular that surely you/he/she had to have escaped him, but you/he/she was brusquely interrupted by the words of Marta: «Then? Don't you tell me nothing?»

  «And' true, she is better than you, makes me have a good time and makes me feel a boy, thing that didn't try for a long time!! But I don't regret anything, have acted well rather because after what have done me will have a lot of worse! And do now tell me for which motive you have done him, did you want to free you of me? Did you want that I committed some foolishness?» and contemporarily it started to grab what had to brought of hand inside the great kitchen, particularly above the sink. Flat, glasses and silver wares ruined to earth destroying himself/herself/itself partly and creating an infernal din.

  «And' what you wanted, eh?» it said Francis.

  «You stop, you frighten me!» she responded.

  Then he supported the hands above those of Marta that was firmly tightening the knife and it started to tighten and to push in ahead to try to make the taking loosen her from the handle.

  But Marta shut at the most of I strive him/it and the result was that the knife from the position turns toward Francis it tilted him toward the woman.

  «Leave me the knife! Leave me!!» it shouted her trying to wriggle out himself/herself/themselves from the taking throwing back to the, but in to move a leg it stamped on a fork that did her/it slip.

  The weight of its body also dragged that of Francis that concerned to earth above of her.

  Marta felt something that lacerated him and a sharp pain to the heart, sent forth a moan and strabuzzò the eyes.

  Francis felt his/her breast that bathed him, he raised again and he saw that the knife was almost entirely hammered to the height of the left breast; a spot of blood had soaked the white and light blouse of Marta and you/he/she was growing rapidly, the eyes were blocked and the half-open mouth as if it tried to do more possible air to enter.

  He put her a hand behind the nape and the head lifted her calling her/it: «Marta, Marta» but she was immovable and once left the taking, the head reverted by now to earth without life.

  Francis understood that there was not anything to be done and you/he/she whispered: «Marta forgive me» and, darkened by his/her condition psico-physics, you/he/she crossed the finestrone and you/he/she was thrown from the terrace.

  June 5 th 2012, Rimini

  The beach he was crowding, the gulls were him some gotten further disturbed by the arrival of the people. It started to be warm, two children on the shore next to her were quarreled a bucket with painted above the princess Ariel and contemporarily they took advantage to refresh himself/herself/themselves the footsies of it.

  Noemi, after having thought for a long time, definite that would have been useless to delay over. It threw out of the purse an attached key to a keyring to form of heart: you/he/she had found her inside a pocket of cloth sewn on purpose inside the container of the water of the sciacquone of the bath of the guests. His/her mother an evening a few years first you/he/she had confided her for telephone that had started to hold a secret diary and to have hidden note the key in that point. He/she thought about that time that you/he/she had perhaps begun to write to relieve him/it him with something, considering that presumably someone with which to do him/it there was not. It inserted the key in the hollow of the padlock and it opened the casket: on one side it was secret a pink diary and from the other there were five little envelopes of dust white without any label, all seal ones and entire except one whom was around fifty-fifty, it seemed flour. Noemi left the little envelopes to their place, taken the diary and, after having him/it open to the first page, it supported both the palms of the hands, one for sheet, as to physically want to perceive the states of mind with which you/he/she had been written. It didn't perceive anything to the contact and it immediately started to read: the dates between a writing and the other one had been varying for one day up to a maximum of fifteen days for the calmest periods. Ordinary events were brought as the progress in the job, those in gym, suppers with friends, particular feelings and episodes lived with intensity. It also spoke naturally of Francis, at times well, at times badly.

  The written pages were not so many, around an about twenty, but Noemi knew that in the last ones you/he/she would have been able to find signs on what was really happened. In fact to three pages from the end it found these words that could make light on the death of his/her/their parents:

  5 March

  So much I had undertaken for our anniversary, 25 years of marriage are one it covers important even if with so many falls. Arrived in advance hardly to house to make him a surprise have found him that a blackberry of the age of Noemi was sweeping! No, this is too much, you/he/she has overcome every limit, I owe him her to make to pay, he doesn't know what I know. The divorce would be too effortless, no, no, I will strike him/it in what is him more to heart and that is I will make him lose the prestige, the power and the respect up to make some gesture to commit him that will bring him/it in the jail or in some psychiatric institute. Money doesn't interest me, I want only to do him her to pay.

  30 March

  I/you/they have gone to seek an article that I had read on the scientific magazine PLoS One, published by the ISMP (Institute for Safe Medication Practices) in 2011 regarding the medicines that can bring to the violence in who assumes them, I have cut out him and glued here:

  "Every time that there is a shoot-out in the schools or some foolish massacre, the press wants to convince us some necessity to strengthen the departments of health mental provosts to" to prevent" these tragedies well before the facts of the case have been investigated. In fact, the most greater part of the press doesn't appear so party in to bring the facts to the light as I am him/it in to recommend presumed solutions. If they investigated some, they would discover that the majority of the people that you/they have committed these actions they were already in care with psychotropic drugs. As broadly shown by now (all it takes is reading well the bugiardinis) many of these psychotropic drugs can cause violences, manias, psychosis, hallucinations, suicide and even ideas murderers and who assumes them you/he/she can represent a serious danger for the society. The ten most dangerous medicines in this sense, are antidepressants but, among these, we also find some sleep aids, medicines against the malaria and remedies to stop smoking, and the most dangerous is the Varenicline (Chantix), the pill antifumo that results to be connected to the violence 18 times in more in comparison to others 10. The study, has individualized 484 medicines that were at the base of 780169 signalings of serious side effects of all the types inclusive 1937 cases of violence that answer to the criterions established by the researchers. There have been 387 signalings of homicide, 404 physical aggressions, 27 cases of physical abuse, 896 cases of ideations murderers and 223 described as correlated symptoms to violence. Some cases have been found that describe" inexplicable" the patients' reactions, among which: a 24 year-old woman that has started to beat in bed its fiancé because «it seemed» so calm and then you/he/she has tried the suicide, a 12 year-old boy that has killed the grandparent without apparent motive, a 42 year-old man that has taken to fists an extraneous man to a bowling footstep, a 47 year-old woman that is gone out of a room, you/he/she has howled to its daughters and then you/he/she is shot, a 34 year-old man that has shot first to his/her/their wife and then to himself."

  I remembered well me this article really scioccante, also because they have not only been necessary 13 years so that the serious side effects were inserted in the bugiardino but the two most dangerous medicines the Chantix and the Prozac I/you/they have been prescribed million of times and I am everything in commerce now.

  The plan is proceeding well, it is not difficult to put him in the cup of the coffee the dust white that have synthesized, I see that already from a few days Francis is more shaken, you/he/she is irascible and he wakes up at night. Rather since yesterday evening, with the excuse to have seen him/it nervous I have recommended him to take a tisana before sleeping so that to administ
er him so two doses a day.

  I have also phoned Noemi saying her that his/her father was some strange to prepare her/it to what will happen; I am sorry for her, you/he/she will suffer us, I am sure of it, but by now you/he/she is distant from the events and we they won't change his/her life.

  20 April

  Today a thing that does me has happened well to hope. I knew that to administer him the medicine would not have been enough, it is necessary to create some occasions. You/he/she has not been difficult to find a person that, behind a lavish reward, with his/her auto you/he/she would have had to bother Francis to the guide. In fact stamani my husband has beaten him and I doesn't know as you/he/she would have gone to end if you/they had not stopped him. This time thanks to the lawyers if you/he/she is gotten by with few, but to the next one I will do me before me with my accusations and surely it won't be enough to open the portfolio. I have to be careful however, I don't have to accept some provocations that he could do me, I would not like violence to unload on me!

  The diary of Marta finished with other two pages riguardanti a supper and one afternoon of relax and shopping with one dear friend of his and nothing more.

  Noemi turned the last page finding himself/herself/itself before only white sheets.

  It lifted the look toward the horizon where the sea melted him with the sky, in distance it was difficult to establish the limit of both and the result it was a great time with innumerable tones from the celestial one to the blue.

  It was not simple to assimilate what you/he/she had read, because he/she didn't believe that his/her mother could reach so much and unfortunately you/he/she has picked up herself what had sowed, paying with the life.

  «Because at times we ruin us the existence with our same hands?», he/she thought while he/she was closing the diary and it put back him/it in the casket; then it got up standing to take the cloth and his/her things with the intention to leave the beach.